So now what? I have finished school (mostly). Still no kids at home, which is very odd still. Moved yet again. Still teaching piano lessons ... but can't complain at $50 per hour. I am not sure what my next move should be. I've definitely decided that I do not want to work in an agency. I have been too successful for too long working for myself. Piano lessons are somewhat unreliable though, so I need to find something else to balance the income a bit. There's that word again, maybe not just a word, but a need.
I still am in the perfect relationship, which continues to get stronger.
Just so many (2nd) career choices. Hmmmm
Friday, February 20, 2009
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Busy is the season
I am still in desperate search of the balance between relaxed, but not boring. I am increasingly becoming convinced that this balance will not happen for a very long time. With starting over, I am fulfilled with a certain exuberance, but at the same time, trying to play catch up to all of my peers.
There was snow yesterday. A perfect reason for taking it easy and not doing anything. However, I am burdened with so much homework, that I can't find the time to relax and keep a good conscience.
I sometimes want the life of my dogs ... sleeping and just staying out of trouble. Tail wags, looking cute, and the highlight of their day being dinner. But would I go crazy?
After 3 kids and always having an excuse to "play", they are all gone now. My youngest is with her grandmother while I finish school. This is very helpful, but at the same time .. I miss them.
Now I have recorded my thoughts for the day, I must go back to work.
More later .....
There was snow yesterday. A perfect reason for taking it easy and not doing anything. However, I am burdened with so much homework, that I can't find the time to relax and keep a good conscience.
I sometimes want the life of my dogs ... sleeping and just staying out of trouble. Tail wags, looking cute, and the highlight of their day being dinner. But would I go crazy?
After 3 kids and always having an excuse to "play", they are all gone now. My youngest is with her grandmother while I finish school. This is very helpful, but at the same time .. I miss them.
Now I have recorded my thoughts for the day, I must go back to work.
More later .....
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Historically Speaking
46 years old with enough experiences to claim 60, I have led a full life.
Only child and spoiled rotten. Not learning life's lessons till after marriage at only 19 years old.
After divorce and 2 kids, I went for marrying yet again. Bad choice ... lesson #11024.
15 years, & 1 more kid later, the red flags that I ignored early on in that relationship blew up in my face. Lesson #13421; ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO RED FLAGS! They only get worse with time.
I find myself left with nothing except 2 daughters living with me. No money, no job, no house, no child support.
Survival mode sets in. After working round the clock making arrangements for my small family, I secure a house, keep my car (for the time being), & a job. I can't express the endurance that these seemingly small feats took. Many tears, private temper tantrums, 12 hour work days, arguments with girls later, we are home (kind of).
Divorce becomes final, but ex doesn't show up for court. I am awarded decent child support, which is very good news. However, the ex has fled to Thailand with his girlfriend so he doesn't have to pay. Lesson #14342; How to BREATHE AND LET GO!
We have to move again so my youngest can go to a better school. We must live in that district. Many favors and much sweat later, we are moved into what seems to be the perfect home for us. An 1857 farm house with more character than I could ever hope for. It is kind of expensive, but feels right.
I have no life.
I attempt to start dating. A serious relationship begins, and one daughter hates it, and hates him (or anyone who is not her father). I fight for balance .. which is never achieved. As I continue this path, I lose my job and car when the company closes.
Someone like me, who has always been self employed till now, can not find a job which pays enough to support us. Lesson #14463; GET AN EDUCATION EARLY!
My boyfriend offers to help me go back to school. With no other option in sight, I accept. He wants to move to a bigger house, so we must move again, and leave the house I love.
I eventually decide not to stay in that relationship. Another move!
Now with only 1.5 quarters of school left to go .... I am finally seeing the light. I cannot believe that how the world has now opened up to me .. even at my age. Lesson #14517 YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD!
The belief is that your biggest opportunities lie in store when you are in your 20s. I feel like I have more opportunities now because of my experience, my knowledge, and now I have an education as well.
I have found a very special person whom I believe will be with me forever. Life couldn't look better now.
Only child and spoiled rotten. Not learning life's lessons till after marriage at only 19 years old.
After divorce and 2 kids, I went for marrying yet again. Bad choice ... lesson #11024.
15 years, & 1 more kid later, the red flags that I ignored early on in that relationship blew up in my face. Lesson #13421; ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO RED FLAGS! They only get worse with time.
I find myself left with nothing except 2 daughters living with me. No money, no job, no house, no child support.
Survival mode sets in. After working round the clock making arrangements for my small family, I secure a house, keep my car (for the time being), & a job. I can't express the endurance that these seemingly small feats took. Many tears, private temper tantrums, 12 hour work days, arguments with girls later, we are home (kind of).
Divorce becomes final, but ex doesn't show up for court. I am awarded decent child support, which is very good news. However, the ex has fled to Thailand with his girlfriend so he doesn't have to pay. Lesson #14342; How to BREATHE AND LET GO!
We have to move again so my youngest can go to a better school. We must live in that district. Many favors and much sweat later, we are moved into what seems to be the perfect home for us. An 1857 farm house with more character than I could ever hope for. It is kind of expensive, but feels right.
I have no life.
I attempt to start dating. A serious relationship begins, and one daughter hates it, and hates him (or anyone who is not her father). I fight for balance .. which is never achieved. As I continue this path, I lose my job and car when the company closes.
Someone like me, who has always been self employed till now, can not find a job which pays enough to support us. Lesson #14463; GET AN EDUCATION EARLY!
My boyfriend offers to help me go back to school. With no other option in sight, I accept. He wants to move to a bigger house, so we must move again, and leave the house I love.
I eventually decide not to stay in that relationship. Another move!
Now with only 1.5 quarters of school left to go .... I am finally seeing the light. I cannot believe that how the world has now opened up to me .. even at my age. Lesson #14517 YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD!
The belief is that your biggest opportunities lie in store when you are in your 20s. I feel like I have more opportunities now because of my experience, my knowledge, and now I have an education as well.
I have found a very special person whom I believe will be with me forever. Life couldn't look better now.
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